So I've been natural for one year now and that's great and all. I'm experimenting with color with my weaves and that's kind of cool for me. I'm going on a cruise with my best friend and her family to south america for a week. I'm stressed about finals but none of that matters right now. What matters is the question that keeps pressing my mind: How do I get closer to God? He's healed me of some of my worst addictions, but I need to be closer to him. He's shown me that vanity is actually one of the things that inspires me to follow Christ more, and I think its because my vanity stems from artificiality thus I end up humbling myself. I'm okay with that, but I need to learn how to be humble now. I need to chase him even when sinful opportunities abound. I need to act as if he's watching at all times--because he is. I want to love him above everything and put my life in his hands. I need to do his will but right now I am absolutely struggling because I have the options to do so many bad things. I think about doing bad things all the time and then justifying them, They're not sin by scripture but I know in my heart that they are bad things and so I fight with my mind daily. But I have to give myself to God. I have to sacrifice, He loves. He gives. He is all that I should aim for because life is so big yet so minuscule in comparison to his treasures and I want to cry because I can't comprehend his love or his beauty all that I can understand is that he's there.