Letting go of the weave

Let's see where to begin. Before I even began transitioning, I was rocking wefts. Like I went from clip ins, to half wigs, to lace wigs and then back to a half wig which broke off the front part of my hair, so then back to lace wigs and then u-part wigs and blablabla. Last weekend I took off my wig and took out my braids while I was watching "A Different World" and picked out my hair. The first thing I thought was, "It's so huge." It was the day after prom and a crazy ass weekend, and my mom came home that day and said, "wow look at all that hair. You could almost start wearing your own hair." and I was kind of like, "I was literally thinking that same thing." Well since school is almost over, I didnt exactly completely quit weave. I'm rocking some weaved up double buns right now and as soon as my clip ins get here I'll do some double braids (and if I learn how to do a braid out perfectly, some braid outs with extensions) and that'll be that for the rest of the year. Literally I have less than one month to endure, I'll be fine. I wore my hair up for prom (wasn't the intention) but I looked bomb a'f and realized that I actually looked more refined with my hair up, so I'm not lamenting over the loss of length. However my edges are suffering (I abused my leave out more than I neglected my natural hair) and let's just say I got a few months to go before I can rock the slicked back afro pony tail that I want to rock oh so very bad. I have to develop a regimen (right now I'm just deep conditioning every night) and admit to myself the problems of my hair and how I mistreated it. I have heat damage out the ass and am very much afraid of abusing heat so I'm praying my clip ins get here soon so I don't have to sacrifice health for appearance. Oh vanity, thy name is my own. I'm excited af for this summer, and this weekend I'm literally just going to deep condition the whole time I dont' care lol bye I don't need to be around people or take selfies.

Also I'm trying to find a good aesthetic that will go with my new big fro look!?!? thick bushy brows? weird eyeliner? idk we gon' find out ya'll.